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    Thursday

    Jay The Fuoye Fresher









    Jay the fuoye fresher
    (This story gives a little  description of how fuoye looks like and the life of a fresher. I hope this story answers some questions you have about fuoye)
    I stood under a shade beside the school's main auditorium. Damn... I was tired of staying under the sun for the medical test shit. The line seemed not to be moving at all. It was like the whole of Nigeria on a queue being attended to by snails! 
    Then she passed....
     The meat pie I was eating got stuck in my throat and I began to cough like I swallowed all the rocks in Africa. It took a while before I came round. All I knew was everyone was telling me sorry.They made me seat on one stair case leading to the auditorium and they gave me water to drink. 
    "They are nice in this school o!" I thought to myself.
    After I became calm and everyone left me,  I remembered the lady I saw! My God! That lady was so.....
    Umm sorry . let me introduce myself
    I'm Jason popularly known as Jay
    Light, Tall...umm what else?
    I'm a fresher!!!
    Guess my school.
    Umm...its one school like that sha... It's located in a village built in the middle of a bush..school na school. At least I am no longer at home. Or wait! Do  you know the school? 
    Well this is my story as a FUOYE fresher. Sit back and enjoy
    I remember the very first day I entered the school...wait...thats today oo!
    Then I started hearing phase 1 , phase 2 ...I was confused like .... What are all these ones saying?...
    Where did I stop?... 
    Oh yeah! The lady was so ...
    "Boss",  the voice greeted from behind me
    "How far ? " I replied without looking.... Then I turned round only to see one my old friends... Just that he had beards! 
    "Shege! Na u be dis?",  I said in pidgin
    "Na my spirit o" he replied smiling
    "Aswear I think say u don die" 
    "U dey craze!"he said laughing really hard
    Mhen the guy don fresh oo! If you see the cloth he is wearing ehn....I'm sure he is a yahoo boy.
    " So Jay, how tinz na?"
    "Cool o". I took a good look at him before asking, " Wait...Did you come for registration too?" 
    "Regi wat? I dey 300 level baba" he said smiling a little.
    My intestine froze! My heart jumped!
    Chai! See wetin Nigeria do me o!  I old pass this idiot o!  300 level?!
    "Agba!" I decided to change the topic as my heart started crying. " I have been here since around 10 but the line no move" I said pointing towards the medical centre
    "10!" he screamed and started laughing
    I stood there watching him, and I swear,  I was angry.... Is he making jest of me? Wicked thoughts started flowing through my head. Trust me,  wicked thoughts!
    "Boss, if you want to do your medicals, try to get here by 7 at least"
    "Ehn ehn" I replied feeling stupid.
    "Wetin be time ?"
    "11" I said without looking at my tattered wristwatch.
    "U fit go try xray sha " he said,  pointing towards another place.
    We exchanged numbers and talked for a while then he turned and asked,  "Where you dey stay sef?"
    "Baba, I dey my Uncle place for Ado o" I replied.
    "U fit con stay for my side at Irona na".
    "Ehn no shit, " I said though I felt like doing something as girlish as jumping on his neck. " I go holla you"
    "Jay Jay ma nigga!" he hailed and left
    Mehn I felt like a sledge hammer just hit my skull. Segun was in 300 level? That one wey no know book ....ummm...
    I walked towards the x ray centre after I succeeded in stopping tears from dropping down my cheeks. The place was just opposite the medical centre with a smaller flood of freshers carrying  big brown envelopes. As soon as I  got there, I was told they just closed for the day!
    "Ah! Na school be dis?" I asked my self.
    Boom! I saw that babe again! 
    She was standing close to that Wema Bank side sha. Omo this girl is so beautiful,  light, tall with long legs ....if  you see the front view ehn, I'm sure the back side will kill me but I can't see it cos she's resting on something.
    I didnt know when I started singing "when I see you I know say nkan be, nkan be labe orun nkan be"
    "Guy u no well" 
    I turned around to see a guy beside me laughing
    "Are you okay?" I replied in anger
    "Guy you better make move,  her name is Ewa". He had this funny, knowing smile on his pimples-dominated face.
    "Say God!"
    "Aswear!". He put a finger on his tongue then touched the ground.
    As a sharp guy,  I immediately made my move... I walked towards her but she was so busy with her phone so she didnt see me coming.
    "Hi Ewa" I said calmly when I was sure my shirt had been well adjusted.
    She raised her head up gently....
    (How will you rate it?)
    Watch out for episode 2 of Jay the Fuoye Fresher
    I am Ace
    ©undergragra


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